Can being in a couple translate into fulfilment?
Many studies have been done over the last decade, regarding how being in a couple affects individuals. Most were searching to understand if their psychological and physical health was better or worse. It would seem that the answer is: People fare better, generally speaking, when they share their lives with a significant other. Here are the various ways it helps each individual reach fulfillment.
Committing: A source of Satisfaction in the Long-term
Many people, when faced with the idea of entering into a couple, become suddenly afraid. They fear they will lose their independence and that their identity will be diluted. However, that is not what the studies show. At the opposite, those who enter into a couple, willing to commit to the relationship, gain a lot more than they lose.
In fact, there is a new theory, called “The Triality,” that goes so far as to say that two individuals willing to let go of themselves, to the benefit of the couple, will enable the creation of a third unit inside the union. That essence is the sum of what they are, and it can provide them with extra resources that they can use to build their world, stronger and better. By willingly dropping the wall, between the partners, they can reach ultimate unity of mind, heart and body. This state of constant happiness will automatically help them grow, individually, but also as part of the unit.
Finding the Right Partner
To imply that all relationships bring on healthier lives for both parties, would be going a step to far. There are also toxic relationships, that can destroy individuals who enter them. Also, you may find yourself in a state of bliss, during the first few months or even a few years, but once you find yourself in an area of conflict, everything falls apart. That is why it is so important to understand the level of commitment, the other one is willing to place on the couple. It is the only thing that can help you foresee how it will go down, when difficulties come up, on the couple’s path.
You can’t force commitment. If it doesn’t come naturally, it probably signifies that there is something that you are not comfortable with, regarding the other. Maybe it will fade with time, but if it doesn’t, you should not force the relationship to go on. Trust is a base value of a strong couple, and if it is not there, you will probably be better alone, until you find the right partner for you. Although the other one doesn’t have to do things the way you would, if you find yourself compromising all the time, end it as soon as possible. Otherwise, you will always feel unsatisfied, and this will turn into bitterness, then finally anger.
Fulfillment comes through Complicity
A healthy couple will feel as if the other person is almost a continuation of oneself. That is because of the great complicity that they share. To be part of such a union can only bring positive things, since you feel like the other really understands you. That is the most important element of a couple, as everyone wants to be understood, but usually feel misunderstood.
Complicity implies that you think alike on most subjects. It is the perfect base to start building a common world, which is what a couple is all about. Sharing what both have to offer, creates a much more complete environment. Just remember that whatever you bring to a couple, you should not expect the other to give it back to you, in a return gesture. Great couples bring what they have to the table, freely and willingly. There will always be one providing more than the other. It is totally normal. After all, it will be the same monetary wise, since people rarely have the exact same salaries.
If you still doubt that being in a couple is better than being single, you should know this statistic: Those who live in a healthy relationship, generally live longer than those that don’t. In fact, in a French study, the results showed that couples between the age of 40 and 50, had two to three times a lesser mortality rate than those who were single. A little food for thought…